This is a no frills, to the point, no f****** about tomato soup. This is for when you have no time, no money, and absolutely no interest in cooking. I made this up (although ‘made up’ sounds ridiculous given the simplicity of the recipe) during the final year of my BA. At the time, I was revising for my degree in Philosophy and Holocaust Studies - so not actual History yet, although it did include modules in History and Religious Studies. Yes, this degree was very niche: I was the only one doing it.

Anyway, I was inevitably engrossed in revising and absolutely hating it. My grades had up until this point either been outstanding (in the History and Religious Studies modules) or abysmal (in the Philosophy modules). As a result, obtaining the First I needed to be even remotely eligible for any MA funding would make anyone emit that sound one makes when sucking in air through gritted teeth. AKA, seriously touch and go. Not something anyone wants weighing on them as they approach their final exams. I was revising eight hours a day, and that wasn’t including breaks.

So yeah, I was barely holding up emotionally, which was pretty palpable in the daily menus I was preparing for myself. Typically, they included porridge, some kind of basic soup, nuts, and a very unimaginative dinner usually involving cous cous or bulgar wheat and a heavy grating of cheap cheddar for flavour. 

And on that note, Dear Reader, I introduce to you the most basic of all the soups I made, which kept me alive but inspired absolutely no joy.

Why would I do this, you ask? Well, because the sad fact is, we’ve all been there and will be there again. In such moments, this is the type of thing we can just about muster the heart to cook. Precious moments of pause, during these times, are better spent watching anything on Netflix that reminds us that life could be worse or, for the glass half-empty people, that it could be better.

A few notes on the recipe

You can absolutely pimp this up or include fresh, gently stewed or roasted cherry tomatoes but in that case, I would refer you to the myriad of superior recipes online. This is for those channeling their Basic Bitch.